| I listen to the wind, the wind of my soul |
[May. 18th, 2012|12:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Wind - Cat Stevens | ] |
1) Repaying my sleep debt way too much. Need to tune my body clock back that wakes to the morning sun, not noon.
2) Managed to snap a copy of 'A Picture of Dorian Grey' and finished it in 2 nights. Quite a dark book that dwells a lot of about the soul.Loved it plus it got be thinking (as usual) on many things.
3) Just finished Nicole Krauss's ' Great House' amid long bus rides to and fro. There was this heavy feeling when I finished it though, just as heavy as the numerous plots and characters in the book who were so tied up with their selves, the work, the people they loved around them.
4) Sent out my updated job resume for my agent to scour for any vacancies. Need self-made money LOL
5) Playing peek a boo around walls with Jenessa plus her coming over to my house and with the added song list of hokey pokey heh
6) There's something entrancing about constant movement around while one is still
7) Words sometimes fall far below
8) Caught up 'How I Met Your Mother' season 7 finale. It's heartwarming, as always :)
9) A person can be a sound
10) Things are getting better and will be even better. |
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| Secrecy |
[May. 11th, 2012|03:21 pm] |
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| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Say - John Mayer | ] |
"Oh I can't explain. When I like people immensely I never tell their names to any one. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvelous to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It is a silly habit, I dare say, but somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one's life."
- The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde |
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| FREEDOM! |
[May. 9th, 2012|12:58 am] |
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| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Payphone - Maroon 5 | ] |
Freedom actually came knocking after 3.30 last Thursday actually but friday and the weekends were spent catching up with the family, playdate with baby jenessa and catching up with kim,julitta and mq who I've missed out for so long. But that aside, it feels good somehow to wake up for once without anything to rush for, savoring the bliss of doing nothing in particular and able to do anything I deem I want to do. :D
Friday was spent travelling all the way to the east to play with baby jenessa cuz I've not seen her for almost a month due to exams and assignments but oh was it worth it! :D The last time I saw her, she was crawling around excitedly and now she's walking and running around forever eager to be rushing to show off something awww <3 Plus it melts my heart every single time when she's half way off in her adventure, backtracks to hold my hand to join her in her hunt for something or another.Her giggles and guffaws when I try to "serenade" her with rock-a-bye-baby (with the wrong lyrics) in an attempt to lull her to sleep, she being so amused by my actions and the way I sing that she wants me to continue on, giggling as hard even I'm singing for the tenth time, refusing to sleep. Remind me again why I love her so much hahaha! :D
And then there is brunch in Saturday over kimchi jjagae, ice-cream and tea in the evening with peeps that I've not caught up for so long because we were swept up with our own lives with school,work, etc but it was good catching up with anecdotes of their lives that I have missed out! Not forgetting laughing over nothing and reminiscing as always. I guess that's what old friends do, always reminiscing and looking forward to days of more laughter where the future seems unimportant and all that matters is the present. Somehow it's always moments spent with such people where you realize that physical distance does not matter. No matter how long we have not met or how far we live from each other, these moments affirm themselves of how the presence of somebody is never limited to physical boundaries. One's presence is always around us and inside us, filling up the void of the human heart that pulses with the joy of company and life. At such moments, I feel ever more comforted and blessed with the belief that somehow everything will be alright and life has it's own plan. Life's good in that way :)
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| Towards the First. |
[Apr. 19th, 2012|09:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Vision of Love - Kris Allen | ] |
Tomorrow marks the first examination for semester 2 and strangely I'm feeling quite calm despite intervals of bursting with anxiety. But that aside, the weeks have been passing by remarkably too fast. Mum was just saying on how each day seems to be passing faster and faster without us realizing it. It's like half way buried in your thoughts or in what you are doing, you look up and the sun's setting, the birds roosting and it's evening already gawd haha! :D
Anyway I hope tomorrow's paper will be kind to me where I am able to complete the essays required within the time limit and I will do alright in it -crosses fingers TIGHT.- till here! |
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| Swamped |
[Apr. 8th, 2012|09:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Indiana - Jon Mclaughin | ] |
I guess there some days will look upon you favourably, leaving you feeling like one of the many blessed individuals across the oceans. Everything seems right and I use the word seems, for we are never in possession of the true knowledge and certainity of what we are really feeling. One can find happiness in sadness and one can also find sadness in material happiness. Also there are some days that leaves you feeling just, so down, leaving you wrapped up in the depths of your own brooding thoughts where your skepticism towards the world overpowers your wonder in life somehow. I don't know why I thought of all these suddenly. Maybe its due to the constant storms that always throws me into a gloomy repository of my self. Then the rain would stop eventually and somehow it seems to have washed away all the gloom, leaving me feeling more fresh like the smell of hope in the air after rain.
I would like to belive that hope exists somehow but sometimes, there are times that crashes these lofty yearnings like a sledgehammer, leaving me trying to pick up these scattered pieces, trying to piece all these back again simply because, I believe. I belive that there would be an end to a start and I always believe somehow things will be alright. As least, that is what I try to tell myself. Sometimes I get so incoherent at my thoughts trying to justify, and always justify till I just get so... weary I suppose? I was having a conversation yesterday and then I realize how much you think you yourself have been missing out is so much trival in comparison to others.
Perhaps what I need, and I suppose everybody needs in their lives are answers. Answers that would somehow provide a direction so that we won't be stuck in a limbo, always at a loss. With a start, the certainity in moving somewhere, anywhere will be a comfort in having a purpose in your life. Yes, I guess thats it. Everybody needs a purpose in their life. |
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| HAPPY EASTER DAY! |
[Apr. 7th, 2012|08:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  working | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | You Make Me Smile - Uncle Kracker | ] |
 
Happy Easter Day everybody! Not much of a festive mood point being the week is swamped with deadlines and impending examinations. But on a celebratory mood, I went to buy the much talked about 'Happy Hippo" in replacement for an easter egg. LOL :D Alden claims that it doesn't even look happy to begin with although he wolfed down the whole pack when I only had one. zzz. Dude really needs to control his appetites. Am quite annoyed cuz I was really looking forward to munching it tmr to relieve myself from studying urgh. It's okay, I shall be a giving sister (as always) HAHA :)
Somehow its the time again, where we are all nearing to the mark. Just got to push on and hopefully wing it :) till here!
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| The world is a blur, but you are still. |
[Apr. 4th, 2012|10:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Good Love Is On The Way - John Mayer | ] |
This is my zonked out look whenever I'm seized with deadlines and essays to be formulated/completed, trying to weave through coherent arguments. But despite all that today was quite a beautiful day of good news for me and the people I love :D, azure sunshine, giggly spaced out moments in school, trying so hard to wipe off the grin/stifle my laughter on my face upon looking at whatsapp convos with sab. Sometimes these moments remind me that there is more to life than being always wholed with school responsibilities although ultimately you have to weather them through. I guess these little things in life goes to show you how much the people around you, be it physically near or close to heart means so much more to you :)
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| Leaping Onwards. |
[Mar. 29th, 2012|03:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Human - Jon Mclaughlin | ] |
Am finally done with all the presentaions for this semester! So glad to clear it all finally so that I'll be able to focus on other stuffs. Was a trifle worried if I was getting incoherent in my ideas but the tutor said it was good coverage from both of us so I guess it went well :)
That aside I've been having really weird disconcerting dreams. I was talking about stablility in inanimate objects today and I guess I'm feeling this more often when I'm jolted out from some weird dream that I've no wish to be a part in. And by looking at my room my wardrobe, the painted walls and I feel this flooding sense of relief. Okay time to head back to readings now. till here! |
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| Sunshine through the Rain |
[Mar. 25th, 2012|02:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Why Georgia - John Mayer | ] |
 
Went down to visit baby jenessa (okay she's not a baby any longer but she still will always be a baby to me hahaha) along with alden on friday after my school in the morning. I can empathize with all my classmates who are living in the east journeying everyday on the train to and fro to school which is situated in the west. But that aside with all the gloom weighing down throughout the week, the visit was a good respite in catching up with cousins, having lunch, entertaining and being entertained by jenessa heheh :D. That girl just gets more and more adorable whenever I meet her with her active curiosity in everything and anything coupled with her antics haha!
And now she's in the phase of walking by herself but whenever she reaches to clutch my hands/fingers for support to walk along with here my heart gets instantly gooey with her little hands in mine HAHA! ohoh and she's getting cheekier in trying to imitate my actions when I look at our reflections in the mirror awww :D
That aside, its back to churning essays and then after that preparations for exams. The onslaught just keeps coming but I believe I'll just pat myself at the back when I'm done with all that :)
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| All that still matters |
[Mar. 19th, 2012|10:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Life After You- Daughtry | ] |
" All that I'm after is a life full of laughter,
As long as I'm laughing with you.
I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever after,
After the life we've been through,
Cause I know there's no life after you."
This past week have been a testament to how much I can do physcially and mentally. I feel the avalanche of work and emotions hitting me but somehow I'm remarkably still calm despite the few inevitable angst. Even the angst is calm where I resort to trying to make cookie dough HAHAHA. But sometimes, just sometimes, it gets harder and harder to breathe and thats when I tell myself that I'm not the only one going through this.
"She is going to learn that life hits you hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up just so that it can kick you in the stomach. By getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is nothing more beautiful than how the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many time it is sent away."
on a side note, Sarah Kay is mindblowing. I've never been much of a fan of poetry although I know how to appreciate a few of them but here's what I came across after looking at the someone posting a link of Sarah Kay's "If I have a Daughter"
and if this is good enough for you, "Hiroshima" would equally blow you off. How is it possible to have so much talent and clarity in both poetry and presentation?? I'm hooked :D
Anyway, I realize how much I miss going out for dinners with my family including my brother for I always seem to never see him around these days due to his study schedules for his exams. I can't phantom how he's handling his stuffs but I know somehow he has it all in his stride. I need to take a leaf out of his book to keep things straight and ride on calm.
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